(WellnessPursuits.com) – From dating life to wedding day — everything seems new, shiny and exciting. But, as with all good things, the newness wears off. What we have left is a relationship that needs to be nurtured so that it can flourish for years to come, even when it doesn’t feel shiny and exciting 24/7 anymore.
So what does a marriage need to make it last? We have a few ideas for you to consider.
1. A Sense of Trust
We’ve all had it drilled into our heads. Honesty is the best policy; and it’s the foundation of trust. The honest reality is that some of us have trust issues because we have past experiences with self-doubt, self-security, or even past infidelities.
Your current relationship needs to be based on a feeling of worthiness — and that’s a two-way street. The only way to maintain a sense of trust is to make sure you have a safe space to sit down, talk to each other, share your feelings, and find ways to work around the emotions you’re feeling.
2. Communicate With Each Other
It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. We all seem to have calendars jam-packed with obligations. Work, family obligations, kids and their busy social schedules — they can all make it easy to focus on moving from task to task. The problem? It’s really easy for us to put our partners last on the list. Make sure you’re setting aside time each day, despite the hustle and bustle, to sit down and talk, even if there’s nothing critically urgent on the agenda.
Enjoy a morning cup of coffee together, set aside some time to sit alone before bed at night, and make sure you make a quick call or shoot a quick text sometime during the day. Stay in touch with each other, even if you feel like those opportunities are few and far between.
3. Engage in Fun Play When You Can
Married adults have just as much right to have fun as anyone else; and “fun” doesn’t have to be limited to your intimate time in the bedroom. Make time to play a board game, go out with friends, or to do something else you both enjoy.
Adults do not have to put fun activities and hobbies away when they get married. We simply have to find new ways to fit them in amongst our other obligations. But trust us — it’s worth it to find the time to reconnect. Your relationship will be stronger for it.
4. Never Lose Your Sense of Self
We tend to sometimes fall into patterns after marriage, focused on pleasing our partners and putting our own interests aside. It’s easy to lose sight of our own identities when that happens, and sometimes we can start to feel resentful.
Truth? Your partner loves you and married you for you. Your personality is important. As important as it is to spend time together, it’s also important to remember to take some time out for self-care. Exercise, enjoy a solo hobby, or go out and get some exercise. It’s perfectly acceptable to have not only hobbies you both enjoy, but things you can embrace on your own as well.
5. Make Time for Intimacy
We can’t even tell you how many times we’ve heard people talk about how their relationship’s lack intimacy. There are a lot of mental, emotional, and physical attributes that can contribute to how you feel about this part of your life.
It’s important to remember that a lack of intimacy can make a person feel vulnerable or unloved, and some will consider seeking attention elsewhere. Communication is key here. And remember, intimacy does not always mean sex. Be open-minded about how you and your partner can make time for intimacy, and in what ways, as your relationship grows and evolves.
Marriage isn’t easy, and no two relationships are alike. It really does take paying attention to each other to keep two people together, but it can be done — and it’s really worth it in the end!
~Here’s to Your Healthy Pursuits!
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