True Love vs. Lust: How to Tell If They’re “The One”


True Love: How to Tell If They’re “The One”

( – You smile each time your phone dings with a new message, and you can’t wait until you’re together again. At work, you catch yourself daydreaming about his thick, dark hair or her beautiful green eyes, and your friends have joked that you must have found your soulmate.

But are you really in love, or is lust clouding your thoughts? Find out whether you’ve found “the one” by comparing your relationship with the statements below.

Can You Envision Your Future Together?

When you’re dating someone you like, it’s normal to make plans for an upcoming weekend or maybe even a few weeks down the road. Things change when you fall in love, and you may find yourself wanting to invite your partner to Thanksgiving dinner or a 5K run a few months away. After a while, you may even think about marriage or kids and find it difficult to imagine anyone else filling your partner’s role.

On the flip side, if you cringe at the thought of introducing your partner to your friends or making long-term plans, don’t rush into a relationship. You may be in lust rather than love. If you’re not picturing the white picket fence, house and kids just yet, don’t fret — you may just need more time to get to know each other.

Do You Mind Sharing Experiences — or Possessions?

Think about the last time you were invited to an event. Did you immediately RSVP for yourself, or did you say, “We’d love to go, but let me make sure my sweetheart is available that day.” When you’re in love, you may notice yourself unintentionally making plans for the two of you.

You may also catch yourself using terms like “us” and “our” more often than “me” and “mine.” This may happen when you describe shared possessions, such as “our couch” or “our home.” You may also say things like, “I’m so glad we got a new blender” instead of “I love my new blender.”

Do You Like Just Looking at Your Partner?

Sure, you may think your partner has great abs or a beautiful smile, but do you actually enjoy looking at them? Do you take time to notice the freckle beside her left eye or the details of his tattoo, or do you just give their face a quick glance when date night arrives? Noticing the little things that make someone unique can be a sign that you truly love your partner.

You may also find yourself staring into your partner’s eyes during conversations. Research shows that when couples in love communicate, they gaze into each other’s eyes 75% of the time. That figure drops to 30% to 60% when people who do not love each other have a conversation.

It can be difficult to distinguish between lust and love because both can evoke feelings of excitement and happiness. If you consider your partner’s feelings before making decisions and can’t imagine life without your significant other, you may have officially found true love.

~Here’s to Your Healthy Pursuits!

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