Relationships require a lot of give and take, and they also seem to work best when they have a good balance of togetherness and alone time. We’ve all had relationships in our lives that worked really well, and some relationships that ran their course for a time and then moved along on separate paths.
There have been an epic number of books written on the subject of what generally works in a relationship and what doesn’t and many articles on the Web that deal with this subject.
After reading and gathering ideas for awhile I’ve boiled down the list to 11 points that I found enlightening to be sure, but were also somewhat surprising to me. These behaviours… habits… may appear loving to you but they’re not… they can wreck your relationship:
- You believe it’s a better choice to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings rather than air what’s really bothering you.
- You are overprotective.
- You keep score.
- You insist that you’re fine, when you’re not.
- You engage in silent treatment instead of facing the issue at hand when you are angry.
- You think it means you love them to almost always put your partner’s choices above yours.
- You continue to justify your actions, even when you know you’re wrong.
- You substitute valuable gifts for emotional intimacy.
- You blame your partner for emotional insecurities that are in your head.
- You allow conflicts between one another just slide and remain unresolved.
- You allow jealousy to justify continuously checking up on your partner’s whereabouts.
I hope you find this list helpful and that it creates some additional insight for you. Relationships, even great ones, are dynamic and our approach to them can use a little dusting off now and then.