4 Tips for Breaking Up with Your Toxic Friends


(WellnessPursuits.com) – Toxic people do not want what’s best for you. They are competitive, disrespectful, underhanded and unsupportive. They zap your energy, tank your self-esteem and may even cause or exacerbate mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. The bottom line: toxic people are not good for you, and you must break up with them. Here’s how:

Create Distance

If you avoid conflict and don’t want to make a scene, you can gradually create distance between yourself and your toxic friend — they may not even notice it. You can create distance by turning down invitations, not getting sucked into group conversations and setting boundaries. You can also move on to other interests that your toxic friend is not interested in. Claim that you’re busy. Eventually, most people will get the hint and allow the distance to widen.

Don’t Engage

Toxic people need an audience to perform to, as well as a group of people to control or bully. You can deny them both of these by choosing not to engage. Do not engage in toxic conversations. Don’t even battle with them when they say something especially offensive. Sometimes, silence is the best answer. When they’re not getting the reactions they want from you, they may even start backing out of the relationship on their own.

Be Honest

In some cases, honesty really is the best medicine. Addressing uncomfortable situations by getting straight to the point often works best. Have an honest, respectful discussion about how their specific actions are affecting you and making you feel. The toxic person in your life may not be fully aware of their behavior. For example, a complainer or whiner may not realize their negativity is draining your energy or wearing you down. Bringing this to their attention might help them stop this behavior in the future. But if, at any time, the discussion gets abusive or disrespectful, end it.

Be Kind

Always be kind in all discussions and interactions with a toxic person. While you are under no obligation to remain friends with a toxic person, there are likely legitimate reasons why they act the way they do. Try to be cognizant and compassionate of those reasons. And, as always, you want to treat people with respect and as you would want to be treated.

While you have to cut toxic people out of your life for your own good, you do not have to be mean to do so. Remain classy and kind (but firm) while creating distance and disengaging from toxic relationships.

~Here’s to Your Healthy Pursuits!

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