(WellnessPursuits.com) – Have you ever wondered why you seem to be a magnet for toxic people? If you’ve attracted more negative friends or significant others than you’ve bargained for, you may have even wondered if there’s something wrong with you.
Don’t fret. Lifestyle experts say that attracting toxic people usually means you’re a good person yourself. So, why does it keep happening to you?
Here are the 7 surprising reasons energy vampires and other toxic types just can’t get enough of you and what you can do to protect yourself:
- You’re a good listener. If you’re a good listener, you’re going to attract narcissists, who love to talk about themselves for hours on end. They’ll talk at anyone they can get in their corner, but if you actually listen politely, with patience and interest, you’ll be irresistible to them. What to do: Put a time limit on it so you don’t become an unpaid therapist.
- You’re generous. Being generous (with time, money or other resources) is a wonderful quality in a person, but unfortunately, toxic people have a nose for it and will try to take advantage of you by taking as much as they can. What to do: It’s okay to cut them off and say “enough is enough.”
- You’re an open book. Being honest, open and trusting means you have a good heart. Unfortunately, this gives toxic people leverage for abusing that trust. (Con artists don’t prey on skeptics.) What to do: You need to be cautious with whom you share your hopes, dreams and secrets.
- You’re accommodating. Easygoing people are more pleasant to be around, but difficult people may find you especially attractive because if you’re not fussy, they think they can get their way all of the time. What to do: Remind yourself that it’s possible to be too nice. The antidote to this is being firm about your boundaries.
- You’re a positive person. Your disposition is sunny, so why are negative people so drawn to you? It may be either to bask in reflective warmth or (ironically) to seek affirmation of their negative views. What to do: In this case, while their negativity may be annoying, you can be a good influence and help them change their ways by example.
- You’re a natural diplomat. If your personality is more about building bridges than burning them, you may attract people who love drama and discord; they can’t resist the challenge of trying to drag you down to their level. What to do: Your best bet is to avoid them or treat them like children when they act that way.
- You’re optimistic about human nature. When your worldview is that people are basically good, you may see the potential in people rather than how they actually behave. Someone with a sunny-side-up attitude is more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt and find the silver lining in their flaws. What to do: When you find yourself making excuses for someone because you want to believe the best of them, take off your rose-colored glasses.
Now that you know the 7 surprising reasons toxic people are attracted to you and what to do about it, hopefully, you’ll be better equipped to deal with them without changing who you are!
~Here’s to Your Healthy Pursuits!
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