(WellnessPursuits.com) – It’s time for a truth bomb. Even the happiest people we know have had some pretty awful things happen to them. The difference between our happy friend and those who seem to be in a foul mood all the time isn’t a lack of experience.
So what exactly is it that causes unhappy people to get stuck in a darker place? Why do they seem to have the weight of the world on their shoulders? Believe it or not, their moods may just be a product of their own habits and attitudes.
As a matter of fact, there are seven very specific habits contributing to their outlooks on life. Here’s what we found in our research:
- Too much micromanaging. Have you ever heard the adage, “If you want something done right, do it yourself?” That’s so incredibly unhealthy, and that thought process creates people who micromanage everything they encounter. People who are successful and happy in life tend to take things as they come and go with the flow. This doesn’t mean they have no structure; it means they know life changes and they try to adapt when possible. They’ve learned to relax and let go a little bit.
- A big worry wart. Have you noticed that people who worry about every little thing are miserable and just plain unhappy? There’s a lot in this life we have no control over. It’s important to learn to be empathetic without taking on a sense of personal responsibility — especially in situations that really don’t involve you.
- Putting others down. You know the lady at the lunch table that always loves to gossip? If she isn’t spreading vicious lies, she’s putting others down. Have you ever wondered what she says about you? These people boast negativity about others, avoid lifting them up and thrive on spreading filth or bad news. People who are happy and successful don’t engage in that behavior. They keep their negative thoughts to themselves, disengage in talk regarding scandalous situations and generally try to lift others up.
- Always thinking the grass is greener. Unhappy people are often jealous as well. Nothing pleases them. When they hear of someone else’s success, they think of ways to belittle it instead of praise it. People who are happier are self-confident and work hard to build others up.
- Focusing on what could go wrong. Miserable people see a situation and immediately think about what could go wrong. Happy people stay focused on the infinite possibilities. You can’t control everything in your life. Sometimes things go wrong. It’s important to learn how to roll with the punches and go with the flow.
- Trust no one. We’ve all been burnt in relationships, personal or professional, at least once. People who have no joy in life use their past experiences as reasons to not trust anyone. This makes it easy for them to isolate themselves and not experience true happiness. Happy people know that part of getting through life is trusting others who have your best interest at heart and learning to differentiate between those you really can’t trust and those you should.
- Playing the victim. Unhappy people act like victims and make everything about themselves, even if something has happened to someone they’re close to. They blame everyone for their problems but themselves, and often become bitter and confrontational. Most of these people like the attention they get, but the neediness is unhealthy and can push others away.
Chronically unhappy people don’t usually realize they’re doing these things, whether it’s one or a handful of the items from the list. Sometimes it helps just to take a step back and assess whether feelings of unhappiness are happening more often than those of feeling good. Recognizing there is a problem and acknowledging the unhealthy behavior is the first step toward bringing more joy to one’s life.
~Here’s to Your Healthy Pursuits!
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