We all want to be happy in our relationships, but happiness isn’t something you achieve overnight. Even if the chemistry is there, the physical attraction and common interests, it still takes effort to achieve real happiness.
7 habits of happy couples:
We’ve all heard this word over and over again, but let’s focus on what it really means. You actually have to open your mouth and express how you’re feeling, not bottle it up because you’re not the “talking type”. If you are the silent type, it’s time to realize your partner can’t really know you if you refuse to speak, body language can only go so far. Couples need to be able to talk about the good and the bad, not sweep problems under the rug where resentment can build. Communication is key.
This is a huge issue in all relationships. Everyone wants to be respected, that means you respect your partner’s time, their character, heart and most importantly, their trust. Name calling, belittling or just being downright mean, are frustrating for anyone, especially when it’s coming from the person who’s supposed to love you. Another big no no is constantly threatening to leave the relationship, eventually they’ll just say, “Okay”. Threats are dangerous and you better plan on following through if you’re going to play that card.
We might think it but do we actually say “thank you” or tell them, “Hey, I appreciate you.” Food doesn’t magically appear in the fridge, there isn’t a clean clothes fairy who fills your dresser, or an endless toilet paper roll, or a rich Daddy Warbucks who puts money into your bank account, so make sure you realize what your partner does for you, and most importantly, TELL THEM. It’s easy to be thankful for the obvious, but happy couples know the little things are just as important as the big things. It only takes a few simple words like “Honey, you rock.” BOOM! Mission accomplished.
Oh, yeah! we’re covering that too. Sex as an expression of love creates intimacy, closeness and strengthens the bond between couples. Life is full of mortgage payments, parent-teacher conferences, flat tires, burnt meals and that little bitch behind the Starbucks counter, but sex is a way to escape the mundane. When experts say “the more you have it, the more you’ll want it”…it’s true, yet the opposite is also true, “the less you do it, the less you’ll want it.” If you are a slow starter, read a sexy book or watch a steamy love story. Make time for this activity, keep it interesting. “Spicing things up” is not just a kitchen ingredient used for cooking, buy some new toys and let your partner get creative.
Choose Your Battles
Of course all couples have arguments and some of them are essential, however, forgetting to put the cap back on the toothpaste, or leaving slippers by the couch are not things to go nuclear over. I’m not saying to overlook lazy or habitual bad habits, although if it’s something not worth battling over then leave it alone. Life is tough enough already, don’t make it harder by sweating the small stuff.
Don’t Compare Yourself With Others
Social media plays a big part in this game. Sometimes the grass will appear greener and maybe it is― so what? If you know you have a good thing going, be happy with it. If you tend to drift toward the appeal of other couples and what you perceive as bliss, turn off your facebook app. Love the one you’re with and they’ll love you back.
Spending Time Apart
It’s important to spend time together, however, it’s just as important to spend time apart. Keeping your own identity is crucial. If you spend too much time with your partner it creates unhealthy codependence. Your partner was attracted to you for a reason― and if you sacrifice your hobbies, life interests, family and friends for your partner, you become just another extension of them, losing what made you –“YOU”- in the first place. If humans were meant to be singular creatures that might be okay, but we are NOT built to love the mirrored versions of ourselves or for our partners to love the mirrored versions of themselves. When you have a strong personal identity, it will make you more attractive to your partner, which in turn builds lasting relationships.
Written by Beverley Miles